You Down With No PP?

Eleven years ago, I was sitting in the office of a Planned Parenthood, filling out the New Patient information form. 

No, I wasn’t pregnant.  I was there for 2 reasons: affordability and anonymity. 

            Unable to tell my mother that I’d already started having sex, I certainly couldn’t tell her that I wanted to make a gynecology appointment.  I just wanted to get everything checked out. You know, make sure it was all in working order.  I finally had a car, which allowed me to lie about my whereabouts much more easily, and this was the first spot on my list.

Before filling out the form, I scanned it for one specific question:  Can we contact you by phone or mail? I exhaled in relief as I checked the box that said “NO”.

Many girls have shared my experience.  I couldn’t tell my mom that I’d given it up a year ago at only 17.  There would be no heart-to-heart talk, no question and answer session.  Only accusing glares, punishment, and the threat of being thrown out if I got pregnant.

Being a freshman in college, I only had a part-time job, so I had no benefits, and not much money to pay for my regular doctor to see me.  Besides the anonymity factor, I had also heard that Planned Parenthood charged on a sliding scale, based on my income.  I don’t remember how much I ended up paying for my visit, but it wasn’t much. 

Since I had this experience, Planned Parenthood has always held a special place in my heart.  It was there for me when I needed it, at a time when I knew that I was all alone in taking responsibility for my own reproductive health.

Unfortunately, Planned Parenthood doesn’t evoke that same fuzzy feeling in others.  Instead, it’s seen as a place where the devil’s work is taking place.  They hear the name, and automatically think: abortion clinic.  In reality, abortion is only 3% of the services that Planned Parenthood provides. 

State legislators are trying to stop funding for Planned Parenthood, an act that will affect millions of women and families.  As of right now, Indiana, Kansas, North Carolina, and Wisconsin have already blocked funding, with more states on the way.

It’s very upsetting to me when people try to shut down something good, only because of one service that they disagree with.  They don’t consider anything else but their own beliefs of what’s right and what’s wrong. 

Four words people need to live by: To each his own.  People should follow the same advice I give my preschoolers when I’ve had enough of their tattle tailing: Don’t worry about what your friends are doing.  Just worry about yourself.  As long as you’re doing the right thing, (or in this case, what you believe is right), then that’s all that matters.

If you want to get involved, check out this website: http://www.plannedparenthoodaction.org/

Stream of Consciousness: Day 8 (Silent Night)

I just walked my dog, but the minute I stepped outside, everything felt suddenly surreal.  It’s 8pm, but the sky is lavender purple, the color it gets right before it snows, but…there’s no snow in the forecast.  It’s foggy out, and the air is cool, moist, still smelling of freshly fallen rain.  The birds are chirping away like it’s 6 in the morning. 

I walk down the street and back again.  Nobody is out, no cars on the road.  Where is everyone? 

The only sounds I hear are my own footsteps, my dog’s paws tentatively tapping on the pavement, and his tags jingling on his collar.  And the birds.  What are they doing up so late? Are they as confused as I am by the strangeness of this night?

I get back to the front of my house and find the culprit: one loudly chirping bird sitting high on a wire, stirring up all the other birds in the neighborhood.  What could he be saying?  I climb the front stairs, and my dog and I stop.  It seems we are both wondering about that bird.  Finally, it gives one last chirp and flies away.

Stream of Consciousness: Day 7 (The Coffee Shop)

Almost every morning I get to Port Authority and choose from one of two spots that sell little cups of cereal.  Generally, I avoid the coffee shop on the first floor because it can get really loud in there, and I’m not talking about the music.  If you go in one morning before 8am, I warn you: there is a group of coworkers/regular customers that meet there and take over the whole place.  Every time one of them walks in, there are loud greetings to be had.  It’s not a big place, and there aren’t many tables, so this group takes up a lot of space.  This “Cheers”-like atmosphere can get kind of annoying, especially because the minute you walk in there you start feeling like an outsider real quick.

Today I went in because they didn’t have any Frosted Flakes at the other place, and to my surprise, the main guy (there’s always a main guy) said “Good morning” to me with a nod of his head and a big smile.  I said “Good morning” back, with a small smile, and went over to the counter to get my cereal, a bit disconcerted.  As I paid, the main guy said loudly to me “Frosted Flakes, huh?”

“Yeah,” I replied sheepishly, turning back around.

“That cereal’s sweet!” he said.

I turned my head a little towards him. “Yeah, I need a little something in the morning.”

I walked over to get my milk, and then sat down at one of the few empty tables.

“Wow, Frosted Flakes! I haven’t had that in a long time! That must be delicious!”

“Yeah, it is,” I said. 

“Like, the milk gets really sweet, right?” He was trying very hard, and I didn’t understand why. The other men at his table were looking at me now, watching me eat my cereal.  I just wanted to eat my breakfast in peace. I’m not used to this kind of attention!

Finally, the guy stopped and went back to his own conversation. 

I wasn’t trying to be rude. I was just sleepy, and hungry!  Besides, this is New York City.  Friendliness doesn’t exactly run rampant.  He must not be originally from here…

Anyhow, I must admit that it felt sort of nice to be acknowledged as one of the “regulars” in the place.  Maybe now it won’t feel so weird to walk in there and sit down.  But at what expense?  Will I ever get to eat my Frosted Flakes in peace again?

I have been accepted into his secret club.  Now I just don’t know if I want the membership. 

Stream of Consciousness: Day 6 (The Wish)

Last year, a 10 year old boy who lived in my building was talking to his friend as I was getting home from work.  I wasn’t paying attention to their conversation, but as the lobby door closed behind me, I heard:
 “Well, not like it will happen, but I wished for world peace.” 

I haven’t been able to get this phrase out of my mind since.  It’s sad that this boy already knows that his world will never be at peace.  That at such a young age, he already knows that there’s no way we can all “just get along”.  And yet, it’s beautiful because it’s so innocent.  I don’t know if it was a birthday wish, a wish upon a star, or a wish on a wishbone, but he used one of his precious wishes to ask for it.  Deep down, it’s something he hopes is still possible. 

Stream of Consciousness: Day 5 (UNO)

I love getting the Wild card in an UNO game, and I love what it represents: a complete change, only for my benefit.  They’re the best! There should be UNO cards that I can use in real life. 

If I decide to make a major change in my life, I’ll throw down a Wild card, and no one can do a thing about it.  If I feel like I need a do-over, I’ll just pull out a Reverse card, and no one will notice how I messed up the first time.  And if I don’t feel like doing something at the moment, all I have to do is put down a Skip card and get back to it later.      

Stream of Consciousness: Day 4 (Friend)

My dearest friend:
I think you've chosen me,
Not for my personality,
But for my ever-listening ear
That never fails when you are near.
I only hope that someday you
Will give me the same pleasure too,
For friendship cannot be one-sided.
This is what I have decided.

Stream of Consciousness: Day 3 (I regress)

I’m heading to a networking event today.  I was excited for a while, but now that it's here, I don't feel like going.  Sometimes I just don’t want to be a leader.  It's something I continually work on.  It seems I'll always be a work in progress. 

My default response is to follow – stay back and watch the extroverts do their thing.  Keep to the shadows where it’s safe and nobody can judge me.  There are days when I get to work and feel like: Can’t someone else run the class today?  Just tell me what to do, and I’ll do it!  Give ME directions, not the other way around! 

I like to think that I’m getting better at speaking up and saying what’s on my mind, but on days like this my stomach starts doing that topsy-turvy thing, and I know I’ve regressed back to square one.  What a shame…