Thursday, April 7, 2011

Stream of Consciousness: Day 3 (I regress)

I’m heading to a networking event today.  I was excited for a while, but now that it's here, I don't feel like going.  Sometimes I just don’t want to be a leader.  It's something I continually work on.  It seems I'll always be a work in progress. 
My default response is to follow – stay back and watch the extroverts do their thing.  Keep to the shadows where it’s safe and nobody can judge me.  There are days when I get to work and feel like: Can’t someone else run the class today?  Just tell me what to do, and I’ll do it!  Give ME directions, not the other way around! 
I like to think that I’m getting better at speaking up and saying what’s on my mind, but on days like this my stomach starts doing that topsy-turvy thing, and I know I’ve regressed back to square one.  What a shame…

2 comments:

  1. Not a shame, we're all works in progress, just in different ways. I am like you in regards to networking, topsy-turvy. The important thing is to feel the fear and do it anyway, and forgive yourself if you don't.

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  2. Thanks! Feeling the fear and doing it anyway is definitely important in growing. "Forgiving yourself" is hard for me, but is a necessity. In case you were curious, I went, and did okay. Next time I'll do better!

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